November 19, 2024 -- Derek Van Ruler
If you have ever purchased furniture from Ikea, you will know the joys of assembling it after arriving home. With eager anticipation, you carry the box into the living room, grab your knife, and begin to open the box. Pulling the pieces from the box and removing the plastic wrap and styrofoam, you find the instruction manual calling your name. At this point, you have the decision to make: Do I follow the instructions or use my man-knowledge and assemble the furniture based on the picture on the front of the box? If you are like me, it’s wiser to swallow your pride and start at step 1.
Discipleship can feel like buying furniture from Ikea. The idea sounds great. It even looks easy to accomplish. But when you try to begin, you immediately find yourself in need of the instruction manual. That is the goal of this article. In my previous two articles, I addressed the need to disciple and the kind of person to disciple. In this article, I will focus on how to disciple.
Your Maturity
When thinking about discipleship, begin with your maturity. Hebrews 13:7 calls us to “Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith.” Likewise, Paul encourages the Corinthian church in 1 Corinthians 11:1, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” And the 19th Century Scottish Pastor Robert Murray McCheyne famously stated, “The greatest need of my people is my holiness.” Your holiness and hunger for the Lord set the temperature for those you disciple. Rarely will they surpass your desire for the Lord while you disciple them. So, when discipling, begin with your pursuit of God. After all, you can only give from what you have.
Your Method
Secondly, think about your method. There are three methods you can choose from. One method is to open the Bible with the one you are discipling. Paul says in 2 Timothy 3:16-17, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” Thus, getting people into God’s word will always be beneficial. To that end, ask questions about their walk with Christ, their knowledge of the gospel, God and his word, and their ability to apply God’s word to their lives. Then prayerfully seek God’s word, find a book of the Bible, and walk through verse by verse, helping your disciple to learn to read God’s word. (I suggest choosing a shorter book of the Bible as it is more conducive to discipleship meetings that occur once a week or every other week. Too long of a book, and both of you might forget the critical components of the book.)
A second method is to grab good books and read together. Most pastors love good books. The problem is that what we think is good may not benefit the one we disciple. Books pastors read may be too cumbersome for most disciples to read. So be thoughtful in the books you choose. To begin, curate a list of good books covering theology, ecclesiology, and personal holiness. Again, it’s easy as pastors to think about theology and ecclesiology (even methodology) books while neglecting books for personal maturity and growth. But James 1:22 rightly warns, “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” We must help younger Christians apply God’s word to their lives so they may mature in their holiness.
A third method is to work beside your disciple. Men especially love to do a project together. Getting your hands dirty, accomplishing a task, or even playing a sport together forms outstanding bonds in men. Often men will open up in ways they do not realize or did not think they could while you are working on a project together. The trick is to ensure you talk about spiritual and life matters. Men are prone to passivity. It is easy to get caught up in the activity and miss the point of the activity. Be on guard and intentionally ask deeper questions about their walk with the Lord and their life. Prepare questions and spiritual topics of conversation before the planned activity. While hanging out with your disciple, prayerfully ask God to give you the boldness to turn the conversation towards spiritual ends. By doing so, you will help men grow in Godliness.
Model Godly Manhood
Lastly, model Godly manhood. Paul says in 1 Thessalonians 2:8, “So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.” Paul knew the power of speaking and the power of seeing. Thus, he sought to spend time modeling what it looks like to follow Jesus Christ. Many men did not grow up with strong father figures in their lives. So hearing about living for God becomes more theoretical rather than practical. They hear the need to mature but have no idea what maturing looks like. To combat this inexperience, open your life to them. Let your disciple know they can ask questions about your life and then invite them to join you as you have dinner with your family or go to the store, especially when you do ministry. This invitation gives a beautiful picture of Godliness applied to real life.
We all need instructions sometimes. I pray that these three steps will encourage you to begin discipling others to fulfill the call in 2 Timothy 2:2, “And what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also.”
(If you would like further assistance, you can find free discipling resources at https://www.4thlevel.org/)
Derek serves as an Associate Pastor at Real Hope Community Church in Lake Mills, Wisconsin, overseeing missions, church planting, and leader development. He previously served as a church planter and Lead Pastor in Sunbury, PA, for 10 years. Derek is a DMin student at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. You can also find Derek in leadership at 4th Level Discipleship, an organization he started to help local churches grow in discipleship. Derek is married to Alecia, and they have two boys, Raymond and Donovan.
댓글