Loving the Church That Breaks Your Heart
- tj53217
- Apr 29
- 4 min read
April 29, 2025 -- TJ Freeman
Rural people can be hard to lead.
That’s just the truth.
Rural people are survivors. They know how to get by on very little, without relying on anyone else. Self-sufficiency isn’t just a value, but a way of life. That mindset doesn’t just disappear when they walk through the church doors.
If you’re a rural pastor you might be confused by the contradictory behavior of your church members. Sometimes they seem so supportive. They’ll supply you with venison, stack your firewood, and hand you an envelope at Christmas without saying a word. But they’ll also fight you over biblical leadership, resist any call to change, and put up walls the moment you challenge their traditions or convictions.
You do your best to preach the gospel with clarity and conviction. They nod politely, thank you on the way out, only to slip right back into the same pattern of moralistic Christianity. You try to talk about elders and deacons, but they seem more interested in politics and food plots. You plead with them to share their faith, but they seem to think that’s “your job.”
In weak moments, you might be tempted to think, “I’m not sure I can do this.”
You didn’t sign up for this much frustration. These people told you they were ready for change! You thought you finally found a church that wanted to be led. They said they were looking forward to faithful preaching and seemed eager to follow Christ instead of protecting their heritage.
But now that the honeymoon is over, you’re not so sure this is such a good fit after all. You’re not crazy for feeling this way. But before you start looking for a different flock, you need to ask: Who told you it shouldn’t be this hard?
It wasn’t Jesus.
When calling people to follow Him, Jesus said things like:
“Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you.” (John 15:20)
And:
“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23)
If you want a living picture of what Jesus was talking about, consider the Apostle Paul. His only boast is in his weakness, which was revealed again and again until the end of his ministry. His 2nd letter to Timothy closes with a sad scene. He’s been abandoned by friends, removed from society, and left shivering on a prison floor.
Christ makes no link between ministry and ease. He didn’t call you to lead cooperative sheep. He called you to love stubborn, rural ones! Your commission is to stay when it’s thankless, to preach when no one seems to listen, to serve when the congregation turns on you, and to do it all with a heart of compassion.
The problem isn’t that your people are too stubborn. It might be that your understanding of pastoral patience might be too shallow.
Patience isn’t sticking around for another year. It’s not preaching with quiet resentment. It’s not tolerating people until they finally come around. That’s not pastoral patience. That’s just survival. And survival was never the goal.
Consider the example of patience demonstrated by the Chief Shepherd.
He stayed with the disciples when they didn’t get it. He washed Judas’s feet. He was patient with Peter’s pride, Thomas’s doubt, and even those who crucified Him. To make it more personal, Jesus has been patient with you too, hasn’t He?
The kind of patience you’re called to is not natural or easy. It comes from a close relationship with Christ, through the power of His Spirit, for a glory greater than your own.
Charles Simeon preached at Holy Trinity Church in Cambridge for over fifty years. The first twelve were filled with a shocking amount of resistance. Church members went so far as to lock their pews to keep people from hearing him preach! I wonder how many of us would have taken that as our sign to move on! But Simeon stayed. He didn’t argue that these people wouldn’t follow leadership. He didn’t say they were too far gone.
Instead, he went on, motivated by Paul’s words to Timothy:
“And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil” (2 Timothy 2:24, ESV)
You are not called to change your people. That’s the Lord’s work! He has called you to love, shepherd, and lead your congregation in the direction of faithfulness. You are called to endure slowness, resist bitterness, and remain tenderhearted even when the hearts around you seem hard.
But, is there ever a time to leave? Sometimes God moves pastors. But those decisions must be made carefully with lots of counsel, humble prayer, and a willing heart. Since it has been shown that most pastors stay fewer than five years, it is clear that many are unwilling to demonstrate the kind of faithfulness God has called them to. Real fruit often takes more time to cultivate than pastors are willing to spend. Rural congregations require a kind of patience that lovingly guides them away from deep roots of superficial tradition, cultural Christianity, and independence.
So don’t measure your ministry by the results you see today. Don’t allow your emotions to imagine a good enough excuse to leave. Press on like Christ, Paul, Simeon, and many others who have given you an example of what it looks like to endure.
This is the Lord’s work and you are His servant. Press on, brother. It will be worth it!
As the senior pastor of Christ Church (formerly Wellsboro Bible Church) since 2012, TJ has a passion for the rural church. Prior to his arrival at Christ Church he served as a church planter, Biblical counselor, discipleship pastor. and history teacher. He enjoys the outdoors (but only when it’s hot out), and is passionate about sushi. TJ and his wife Katie have two daughters; Charlotte and Charity, and two sons; Hudson and Grant. TJ serves on the board at the Brainerd Institute for Rural Ministry and can be heard on the Rural Church Renewal and the Back to Rurality Podcasts.
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